A couple of years later.
Positives: Less stressed
Negatives: Work out WAY less, if at all. Weight is at an all time high, I do't even know how much I weigh.
Today I ran for the first time in a while, 3 slow miles. Baby steps.
Good food day, ate healthy all day!
Monday, March 27, 2017
Monday, May 4, 2015
Week 2 - Settling In
Second week, and I finally got my pellet therapy for hormones and testosterone replacement. The testosterone was very low, funny I would have low T as a woman. The good news is I should start feeling better in about 2 weeks. The bad news is that I can't workout for 3 days (not even yoga), and no going in the pool for a week. I can live with that. I can't wait to feel better and have energy again.
Focus for this week, since I can't work out I will focus on getting organized. When things are in their place, it makes me feel happier.
By the end of the week I lost all motivation and pretty much just became lazy.
Focus for this week, since I can't work out I will focus on getting organized. When things are in their place, it makes me feel happier.
By the end of the week I lost all motivation and pretty much just became lazy.
Monday, April 27, 2015
Week 1 - What now?
Saturday, my first official day of unemployment I felt a strange sort of loss. I woke up and checked my cell phone, as I always do. I didn't wake up to 50+ emails, and I had been removed from the network. Weird that I would have a feeling of loss, and not have a sense of relief.
Sunday was busy as always, as it is family dinner night. Kids come over, I cook all day, then Chuck and I cleaned up.
However, this Sunday my son snapped at me when I got upset at him because something he was doing in his life was not meeting my personal expectation of how I thought a certain situation to go. He asked why I always made him feel guilty and like sh*t for things. He was right, just because something did not happen the way I wanted it to, but that didn't mean I should make him feel badly.
My kids always joke about how I guilt them into things. I would explain that I allowed them to make their own choices, but I would just point out my opinion on what I felt the right choice was. But Brandon was right, I do guilt my kids. Especially when their actions do not meet my expectations, or hurt my feelings.
First new habit: Don't set expectations on how others will behave. Live life each day and appreciate what's happening in that time.
The start of the work week was full of errands, doctor's appointments, yard work, laundry. All of the things I never had the time to take care and was always behind in getting done. It didn't feel like I wasn't working. It felt like I had taken some time off to take care of things around the house.
Then a twist . . my doctor's appointment on Monday was that mammogram I never found the time to take. Let's face it I was only doing it now so I could start hormone replacement therapy to get some relief from menopause. Well, that came back Wednesday showing a mass.
Did I just quit my job, only to find out a few days later that I have breast cancer? What did I do? Will I live? When could I get surgery and what is the recovery? How long will we need to live off one paycheck?
After much persistence I was able to get a diagnostic mammogram the following day, and thankfully I am okay. I am very appreciative this worry was only for a short period of time.
Second new habit: Make my personal health a priority. Don't put off doctor's appointments, or a workout because I am too busy taking care of things for other people.
This experience made me realize that over years I had become indifferent to what others may be going through. I am realizing that I have actually developed a sense of unhappiness, anger, envy, and/or entitlement.
When looking at Facebook I would find myself judging what everyone was doing and compare it to my life, my lack of time, my lack of motivation. At work I would compare and judge work schedules, working conditions, projects, vacation time, etc.
Why would I do that? Why would I care? Why don't I feel genuine happiness for other people anymore?
Third new habit: Rejoice in other's happiness and life, truly rejoice. Be happy for what others have and can do, it's not about me.
So my first week and my big realization is how unhappy I am with myself.
Time to change.
Sunday was busy as always, as it is family dinner night. Kids come over, I cook all day, then Chuck and I cleaned up.
However, this Sunday my son snapped at me when I got upset at him because something he was doing in his life was not meeting my personal expectation of how I thought a certain situation to go. He asked why I always made him feel guilty and like sh*t for things. He was right, just because something did not happen the way I wanted it to, but that didn't mean I should make him feel badly.
My kids always joke about how I guilt them into things. I would explain that I allowed them to make their own choices, but I would just point out my opinion on what I felt the right choice was. But Brandon was right, I do guilt my kids. Especially when their actions do not meet my expectations, or hurt my feelings.
First new habit: Don't set expectations on how others will behave. Live life each day and appreciate what's happening in that time.
The start of the work week was full of errands, doctor's appointments, yard work, laundry. All of the things I never had the time to take care and was always behind in getting done. It didn't feel like I wasn't working. It felt like I had taken some time off to take care of things around the house.
Then a twist . . my doctor's appointment on Monday was that mammogram I never found the time to take. Let's face it I was only doing it now so I could start hormone replacement therapy to get some relief from menopause. Well, that came back Wednesday showing a mass.
Did I just quit my job, only to find out a few days later that I have breast cancer? What did I do? Will I live? When could I get surgery and what is the recovery? How long will we need to live off one paycheck?
After much persistence I was able to get a diagnostic mammogram the following day, and thankfully I am okay. I am very appreciative this worry was only for a short period of time.
Second new habit: Make my personal health a priority. Don't put off doctor's appointments, or a workout because I am too busy taking care of things for other people.
This experience made me realize that over years I had become indifferent to what others may be going through. I am realizing that I have actually developed a sense of unhappiness, anger, envy, and/or entitlement.
When looking at Facebook I would find myself judging what everyone was doing and compare it to my life, my lack of time, my lack of motivation. At work I would compare and judge work schedules, working conditions, projects, vacation time, etc.
Why would I do that? Why would I care? Why don't I feel genuine happiness for other people anymore?
Third new habit: Rejoice in other's happiness and life, truly rejoice. Be happy for what others have and can do, it's not about me.
So my first week and my big realization is how unhappy I am with myself.
Time to change.
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